following the sad news concerning the

Prime Minister instead of the published

program as a mark of respect there will

now be a piece of music

you

do bastards

Magan we're so sorry to see you come

forward

don't go yet come on come on

whoo it was all going so well

it wasn't me who wanted you to go it was

him it wasn't me you wanted you to go it

was him well it surely wasn't me ha ha

ha I've always supported you Margaret

here's of course I'll vote for you again

got mittens you mcwrap see a nice doctor

who said I'm a coward Oh gotcha

my fellow conservatives don't be

distracted by all this fuss I say this

we must get back to the essential

business of deciding who's us should I

lick now that's a layabout for me

there's so many to choose from

hello today MPs on all sides of the

chamber reiterated their demands for a

fool investigation into the

circumstances surrounding Margaret

Thatcher's resignation with me I have

dr. David Owen hello John I'm sure many

people are asking the same question what

makes you think you're such a sodding

expert on everything

whenever I turn the TV on there you are

dr. David bloody Owen on the environment

space war peace art kicks our puzzles

interior furnishings I mean if you're so

bloody clever how come you've never been

Prime Minister haha thank you I wish to

protest about the channel 4 programme

sex talk why isn't the renin knobbing in

it all you ever do is talk about it it's

an absolute disgrace

oh yeah good evening and welcome to sex

talk and now if I could start with you

Edward

at me oh yeah right well the thing is um

I think I might be know hang on I've got

this friend of mine and he thinks that

he might be celibate oh it's nothing to

be ashamed of a deacons as celibate

should stick together

not in a literal sense of ghosts

I find the fault of a decoupage spooning

in Bali with peanut butter on having it

licked off a woman wearing flood silk

underwear so much light - gasps bang oh

right now we're talking about emotional

contacts and intimacy rod if I could

turn to you and how many birds have you

shagged in quiet and now we turn to talk

to David Owen David what makes you think

is such a sodding expert on everything

Oh years that's all very well but aren't

you two exactly the same no no not at

all I'm sorry you first oh well anyway

as I said we completely different he's

the boring one and odd the one with the

glasses no hang on I'm the boring one

and he's the one with the glasses oh no

that's it

he's the one who's going to stand down

no I'm not I hope you were say we don't

agree on anything

yes right lads here's the tactics Gazza

I was I want you to create some space

get into a good position just here

outside the supermarket in time for the

photo service then try and get inside

the topic about a nightclub going hard

tackle a photographer's oh and Gaza

I will stay close to the topless model

or see you up there on the other page

making your presence felt

karthick me to loot it be ever surf away

that's what a lotta hey guys are always

thinking excuse me boss yeah just a

minute Lydia will come to you in a

minute

Oh boss but in the second half I'd like

to slip away from a marker organ

Hospital bears for the Daily Mirror and

a ninja turtle costume

Havas no with your media under stick

vetoed again nice touch gasser fuss now

then I want you to put on a pair of

plastic breasts put on some antlers and

learn about in a Chinese takeaway ah

oh all right the Nikia what do you want

to do what I'd like to do 60 fresh ops

wrong 10 times round the pitch go weight

training and get nearly 90 times

tomorrow's game want us to call yourself

a professional way I may have you seen

me like me and farts with a much boss

champion classic Gary Lineker snake

absolutely disgusting Dallas Texas Cena

perhaps the most infamous crime in

American history for it was gear one

bright November day that Dan Quayle

wasn't shot tonight we ask why hasn't

Dan Quayle been assassinated

they're a conspiracy not to shoot it why

does our graphics department keep

putting in silly question marks

I'll always remember what I was doing

that day the news came over the radio

and quail was still alive I just broke

down and wept look at this photo of the

grassy knoll this blurred splodge can

mean only one thing

dan quayle must have taken this photo

this photo was taken by a more

intelligent person the man on the left

is a CIA agent he has a gun why hasn't

he shot the little squirt you know this

items very funny besides there's an old

soldier it was nearly in Vietnam I know

how to look after myself it's in the

papers it's on the television you just

can't get away from it cricket cricket

cricket yeah David Waddington what's

your reaction to mrs. Thatcher's

resignation

well he always was in favor of hanging

yes get mark welcome back to sex Tory

yes and they ladies and gentlemen if I

could just talk about my sex life

because I am so ideologically sound I

love mom whether I sleep with a man or a

woman are just as long as they've got a

vagina not that there's anything wrong

with willies in fact of my my career in

comedy out of them yes in day yeah great

now if I could just mention clitoral

orgasm at this point what are your views

Roy well personally I think the

leadership crisis was a result of the

breakdown of policies to all the hard

SEO this is question time is it

tonight the trials of life explores how

remarkably successful for foxes be

adapting to life in the inner cities use

your dose you old cow I find the Ford of

a grown man slowly undressing Mayer

caressing my skin with his gently -

Zhang Hans absolutely disgusting it's a

tragedy if dear Larry would alive today

he turn in his grave oh yes the Tories

have turned this country until I finish

tying you so right bringing brucey back

in the generation game is the worst

thing to BBC's ever done in fact the

producer said to me no no I'm talking

about stem underfunding of a Royal

Shakespeare

come here that marvelous old theater the

Barbican is darling whatever will the

ordinary chap in the street do for his

evenings entertainment now stay and

watch TV with mrs. which reminds me my

wife is an ugly dog Satori's realize the

damage they're doing to the nation's

culture who now will produce dreadful

musicals and Shakespeare's worst plays

with lots of extras silly costumes and

complicated sets that don't work only

the National Theatre oh well now can I

get any work unless be on some awful

Agatha Christie movie or the follow up

to offer - what is more important to

this country they are not theater well

my career Forrester and mine and biner

good hands I didn't know you had one

oh yes well you've got a quite long

enough you forbade your point can we

have the next private Easter please yes

and they'll add as a general what I

tragic day for Santa that's not that you

spent for you there goes my material

good night

thank god she's God love my pleasure

don't mention it more thank God I

thought I didn't know then just stop

your bloody fascist introducing a new

magazine from Baghdad Iraqi woman

featuring mrs. Saddam yes do you want to

be an independent liberated Iraqi woman

with a career forget it and get back to

the kitchen you brazen hussy

there's beauty tips yes

our makeup experts show you how to

disguise those unsightly blemishes

so this blacks are falling over your

head now get back to the texture plus

there's travel tips - yes addition one

the quickest way to get back in the case

yes if you're an Iraqi woman of the 90s

you stop reading this an Iraqi woman not

allowed out now

desert wants more shading on it yeah

I've got the bat I've got the balls

let's see a cricket box vain enough fair

cricketing meta first let's see how the

Test match is going Thank You Jeremy

well Michael Atherton opened with an

innings that was reminiscent of Geoffrey

her speech until Murph Hughes forced him

to resign as it were by bowling him a

second ballot of a ball provoking a

leadership crisis Oh shucks here we are

at Westminster for the most important

debate on national sovereignty to come

before this Parliament in 500 years it's

the issue which is brought about the

resignation of the PM and the big

question that always comes up when

Europe is discussed can anyone actually

stay awake having enjoyed the Exchange

Rate Mechanism

and sorted out the problem of they say

what I mean

subsidies and we cover today

within the context of the central bank

and they hard think it's no cookie the

Ephesian too boring

come on Roy white it thank you come on

steering Lance

sure Lavinia alternatively phased in

single currency is for sterling to a

shadowy man European monetary unit

whilst maintaining the option of that

the implementation to the single market

is free I'm the candidate for Europe I'm

a candidate for Europe speaker ours is

the party of your ass

Nike don't you Roy what can I say about

the Common Agricultural Policy new

business before the house and debates on

members salaries yes and even as I speak

nothing is actually happening we've just

heard there are in fact no new

developments at all yeah John what's the

latest on the speculation well Jeremy

it's hard to speculate but all the signs

are that there's likely to be a marked

increase in speculation over the way the

speculation will go in the next few days

John I have to interrupt you there

because we're going over live to Downing

Street one of those futile shots of the

door

yeah great and the big question now is

are TV journalists so desperate to fill

up the news that they'll even interview

each other

Peter snow well I'm glad you asked me

this Jeremy if we're not going to chart

here's the amount of extended special

xvideos time here's the amount of actual

you still Tuesday we've got to fill up

this area in between with complete

waffle Jeremy yes there now follows a

party political broadcast by the

Conservative Party good evening

now we conservatives may have appeared

recently to be a bunch of sniveling

two-faced backstabbing weasels this is

because we are well just look at the

figures our party has achieved the

highest rate of toadying to face it 'no

some any government since the war you

can be sure that our Manifest over the

90s is one watching our asses to sucking

up to this week's leader and three solve

the rest of y'all then go with a

Conservative Party a bunch of sniveling

two-faced backstabbing weasels oh oh

dear sir Antony gone a great lost party

in country will never see his like again

perhaps the greatest peacetime backbench

crawler of this century right let's

don't rock if there's one thing I cannot

state its animal lovers who that I think

they all coming out to me the street

goat who's a good doggy

not me just stop paying more hate or you

won't be buying your gloves in pairs

work for sausages and another thing

about animal lovers they're stupid

how could anyone love a sheep well they

can buy easy legal work for like you I

do agree with animal lovers or watching

the Hendrix puppies noise he specially

on Tom's

lovely and I called

the story is so far as a result of a

bizarre transportation accident three of

our puppets are at large in the outside

world

with two large hammocks and the Penix

and police have named the three escaped

puppets I'm so far eluded to so-called

puppet catcher the gang shouldn't be

approached by members of the public as

they may run away Pudsey baby got

television that's the first time I've

been of the Jews since 1986 fascinating

however I suggest our chances of freedom

would be enhanced will be to obtain some

gainful employment yeah fuck of that

fella why don't we get a job

here's one starships exceed your science

officer with experience of intergalactic

travel really know most amusing yeah

however according to my calculations the

shortage of acceptable employment is an

inevitable consequence of this

government's high interest rates and

questionable fiscal policies yeah well

that's the politics over let's get up

with a story it's not fair mr. Spock

how's an ordinary anteater like me

supposed to find work Oh submit it and

eita what it must be able to eat ants

yeah that sounds promising they supply

person to the zoo number six the high

street yes thing you two friends hmm sir

illogical

we're all going to the zoo today's or

today whoo I'm so excited

one moment gentlemen my sensor indicates

that it is highly improbable that wild

animals would be situated in the

terrorists house uh and if ever will

conclude that what we are about to enter

well well well look who it isn't what we

gonna do review Lachlan actually it's

the first time I've ever done anything

like this like what

like putting an advert in the lungi

hearts column oh that's okay this is the

first time I've ever answered one you

know I the strangest feeling I've seen

you somewhere before

oh please not that old line actually

thinking about it your ears look rather

familiar yeah

the Green Party is not in the bin it's

simply being recycled oh they live in

the sewers they fight for what is right

and there are four of them they are

Teenage Mutant Ninja terms this week

food for thought

yo dude statures gone down but turn

sales are looking good yeah

good product you going down great no

especially the ninja turnspit shirts

wristwatches and fun bags hey guys are

you sure we're doing the right thing

going stop donors the rear oh no way but

if the kids will swallow that crap why

not turn food those turtles have pizza

so we've got the turd burger it's dirt

shaped eventually

ah the bran flakes and their evil leader

shredding flaps are life a cards we know

all about your food plans the Tuttle

sent us to shift you okay get him guys

you

like I always say dudes

the only good cereal is the one on our

videos coward Teenage Mutant Ninja

Turtle now wash your hands now any ideas

for that nephew of yours Alan I suppose

you'd like one of those mucus turtle

things they very much doubt that Thoreau

whose 42 rat will have to make do with

some slippers now what about Little

Jimmy I've not seen him since 1966

although I do a vivid recollection of

his sister throwing up into a picnic

hamper an ill-fated outing to Cleese off

do you mind Alan I'm doing my Christmas

list

now I must put dolly down for some

support tights do you know the one with

a reinforced gossip only I never sent

her a card last year and what were

they're not sending me anything the year

before when I sent her a vibrator mind

you if I hand over send to something

what's the betting she'll miss me out on

the counter of rustic o'hanlan this is

awful what do you think I think it was

the little biscuits with the cows on

that made her sick they were deceptively

rich right that does it

when matters well cancel Christmas good

yeah husbands I've never quite seen the

point and exchanging socks with a

distant relative so it's the end of an

era but let's not forget one of mrs.

Thatcher's many achievements

if you see me sleeping on the street

nowhere to go nothing to reach welcome

back

wah

that you don't see the people that you

behind you of each time you see them

you jump on

welcome back

ah bah-bah-bah

get the no we're not up

so if you see shape tonight

welcome

my turn

and even though there's more

fish

you think it's a shame

two one go

haha

welcome back

Oh

but if I am

we're always

you'll be home and dry

welcome

welcome back