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Part One

Intro

Margaret Thatcher: Oh thank god that dreadful Westland affair is over. Now we can forget about it once and for all and get on with the real problems facing this problem.

?: Alright, sir. Here are the unemployment figures. It’s an all time record. 3.4 million, that’s 50% up on what was-

Thatcher: Alright there, about this Westland affair, I think that the-

Printers Say No To Murdoch

Films

Andrew Lloyd Webber Interview

The Voyeur

John Cole on Westminster

Botha Addresses Russia

The SDP-Liberal Alliance Meet

Roy Jenkins: And that just leaves the post of junior minister, the Minister of Environment. Any recommendations?

David Steel: Er..

David Owen: Yes?

Steel: Er.. can I suggest, er…

Owen: Yes?

Steel: Alan Beith?

Jenkins: Yes David, you can.

Steel: I suggest Alan Beith!

Owen: He’s a Liberal, isn’t he, David?

Steel: Well, in a way, um, sort of, yes. Well, I could humbly recommend David Penhaligon?

Shirley Williams: It would be nice to have another David in the Cabinet!

Jenkins: I’ve got a teensy-weensy inkling he’s also a Liberal, David.

Steel: There’s always Cyril Smith-

Owen: I think, David, the consensus here is no Liberals at all. Now, has anyone have any grown up non-short arsed type suggestions?

Williams: What about John Cleese?

Owen: Don’t be absurd, Shirley. You know perfectly well John is already pencilled in as Foreign Secretary.

Steel: Um.. what about.. me?

Owen: Well, David, I don’t really think you’re right for the environment.

Jenkins: No, absolutely not, no, no.

Williams: I don’t think we should have another David in the Cabinet.

Owen: But, David, David, David. Bearing in mind your interest in the economy and your Scottish background, we are plump for making you Minister Without Any Responsibility Whatsoever.

Steel: Oh! Thank you very much indeed, David!

Owen: Hm. Now piss off and stop bothering us.

Steel: Oh, yes, dear.

Nippon

Instant Publicity

A Royal Skiing Trip